According to Terry D. Cooper’s book, Making Judgments Without Being Judgmental, There is a big difference between people who speak with authority and authoritarians. Authorities have knowledge and expertise, while authoritarians feel they should be agreed with merely on the basis of their position or power. They insist on loyalty even when they don’t make sense. Authorities, by contrast, speak with rationality and wisdom.
Cooper maintains that authoritarians can turn simple conversations and discussions into power struggles. Their rigid mental thinking won’t allow them to consider a different viewpoint, and they believe that anyone who disagrees with them is persecuting them.
Authoritarianism is everywhere, says Cooper, so don’t waste your time being shocked by it. First of all, realize that something in this person’s past made him or her this way. Authoritarianism usually springs from insecurity and fear. Knowing this may help us be more compassionate. To put them in a box with an Authoritarian label makes us just as judgmental as they are.
Instead, help an authoritarian person to grow by continuing to present alternative perspectives and encouraging them to try to step into someone else’s shoes to see how they may have arrived at their point of view.
Cooper encourages us to focus on the true goal of conversation. Argument may grow out of a conversation, but it shouldn’t occur simply for its own sake. There needs to be a commitment to truth and mutual respect that overshadows the desire to win a debate.
It’s very easy to slide into authoritarian thinking. It happens to us all at one time or another, but having an understanding of it will help us recognize when we are on that slippery slope. According to Cooper, our goal should be “to invite greater humanness in a dialogue enveloped by care. We can affirm the person while disagreeing with the viewpoint. Uncaring argument does not help in the pursuit of truth.”
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Good Wednesday?
Matt 12:38-40 Then certain of the scribes and of the Pharisees answered, saying, Master, we would see a sign from thee. But he answered and said unto them, An evil & adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given to it, but the sign of the prophet Jonah: For as Jonah was 3 days and 3 nights in the whale's belly; so shall the Son of man be 3 days and 3 nights in the heart of the earth.
Three days and three nights.
Jesus seemed to be pretty specific here.
So how is it that most churches talk about Good Friday and Easter Sunday? Let's see, that's one night, one day, one night. Huh.
We know from Scripture that Jesus was hastily laid in the tomb because the Sabbath (which began at sunset) was about to begin, so wouldn't that mean a Friday crucifixion? Not necessarily. In old Testament times there were Sabbaths to be observed in addition to the regular weekly Sabbath on the last day of the week (Saturday). During Passover, there were special Sabbaths built into the commemoration.
LEV 23:4 " `These are the LORD's appointed feasts, the sacred assemblies you are to proclaim at their appointed times: 5 The LORD's Passover begins at twilight on the fourteenth day of the first month. 6 On the fifteenth day of that month the LORD's Feast of Unleavened Bread begins; for seven days you must eat bread made without yeast. 7 On the first day hold a sacred assembly and do no regular work. 8 For seven days present an offering made to the LORD by fire. And on the seventh day hold a sacred assembly and do no regular work.' "
With the possibility of an extra Sabbath in this week, a Friday crucifixion isn't a necessary element. It also isn't necessary for Jesus to have been raised on Sunday morning. The Bible says the stone was rolled away then, but that may have been so the women could see that it was empty. As we learn later, Jesus didn't need a door opened to get out!
To find out the probable day of the crucifixion, let's look at what we know:
1. Jesus said he would be "in the heart of the earth" three days and three nights.
2. He was laid in the tomb as night was approaching, so the count has to begin with night and end with day.
If Jesus was crucified on Wednesday, we would count the days like this: Wed. night (1 night), Thurs. day (1 day), Thurs. night (2 nights), Fri. day (2 days), Fri. night (3 nights), Sat. day (3 days). In this scenario, Jesus was then most likely raised as the sun set Saturday.
So why did the women wait until Sunday morning to go to the tomb? If Thursday was a Sabbath, then why not head out Friday morning? Perhaps because Friday was the preparation day for the regular Saturday Sabbath. It may be that early Sunday morning was their first opportunity, or it could be that God delayed them somehow because a Saturday morning discovery was what He had planned.
So what? you may be asking. Isn't it more important that Jesus was raised than the specific days he was crucified and resurrected? Isn't this just nit-picking about something completely unimportant.
Yes and no.
Absolutely, the most important information here is that Jesus was crucified, buried, and raised from the dead, and if your church observes Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday services, by all means participate. But there is something to be said for accuracy and truth. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. It matters that we, as Christians, take time to sort out and know the truth.
The world wants the Bible to be a mixed up mess that contradicts itself at every turn.
We don't have to fuel this notion.
Three days and three nights.
Jesus seemed to be pretty specific here.
So how is it that most churches talk about Good Friday and Easter Sunday? Let's see, that's one night, one day, one night. Huh.
We know from Scripture that Jesus was hastily laid in the tomb because the Sabbath (which began at sunset) was about to begin, so wouldn't that mean a Friday crucifixion? Not necessarily. In old Testament times there were Sabbaths to be observed in addition to the regular weekly Sabbath on the last day of the week (Saturday). During Passover, there were special Sabbaths built into the commemoration.
LEV 23:4 " `These are the LORD's appointed feasts, the sacred assemblies you are to proclaim at their appointed times: 5 The LORD's Passover begins at twilight on the fourteenth day of the first month. 6 On the fifteenth day of that month the LORD's Feast of Unleavened Bread begins; for seven days you must eat bread made without yeast. 7 On the first day hold a sacred assembly and do no regular work. 8 For seven days present an offering made to the LORD by fire. And on the seventh day hold a sacred assembly and do no regular work.' "
With the possibility of an extra Sabbath in this week, a Friday crucifixion isn't a necessary element. It also isn't necessary for Jesus to have been raised on Sunday morning. The Bible says the stone was rolled away then, but that may have been so the women could see that it was empty. As we learn later, Jesus didn't need a door opened to get out!
To find out the probable day of the crucifixion, let's look at what we know:
1. Jesus said he would be "in the heart of the earth" three days and three nights.
2. He was laid in the tomb as night was approaching, so the count has to begin with night and end with day.
If Jesus was crucified on Wednesday, we would count the days like this: Wed. night (1 night), Thurs. day (1 day), Thurs. night (2 nights), Fri. day (2 days), Fri. night (3 nights), Sat. day (3 days). In this scenario, Jesus was then most likely raised as the sun set Saturday.
So why did the women wait until Sunday morning to go to the tomb? If Thursday was a Sabbath, then why not head out Friday morning? Perhaps because Friday was the preparation day for the regular Saturday Sabbath. It may be that early Sunday morning was their first opportunity, or it could be that God delayed them somehow because a Saturday morning discovery was what He had planned.
So what? you may be asking. Isn't it more important that Jesus was raised than the specific days he was crucified and resurrected? Isn't this just nit-picking about something completely unimportant.
Yes and no.
Absolutely, the most important information here is that Jesus was crucified, buried, and raised from the dead, and if your church observes Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday services, by all means participate. But there is something to be said for accuracy and truth. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. It matters that we, as Christians, take time to sort out and know the truth.
The world wants the Bible to be a mixed up mess that contradicts itself at every turn.
We don't have to fuel this notion.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Judgment vs Judgmentalism--7 Distinctions
In his book, Making Judgments Without Being Judgmental, Terry D. Cooper suggests seven important distinctions between the necessary process of making judgments and the unnecessary process of being judgmental.
Concern. Whereas healthy judgment involves concern for others, judgmentalism often has no concern whatsoever for the people it is condemning.
Trust. Healthy judgment refuses to distrust another’s motives without solid evidence for doing so. Judgmentalism, on the other hand, claims to be able to read people’s minds.
Tolerant. Judgmentalism often clings so tenaciously to rigid religious and moral concepts that it ends up disrespecting anyone who thinks differently. Healthy judgment may indeed think that the ideas of someone are off-base, limited or even dangerous, but it extends tolerance to the person beneath the ideas.
Behavior vs. people. Bashing a behavior is a judgment. Bashing a person is being judgmental. We must make healthy judgments concerning behaviors every day. When we start in on the person behind the behaviors, making sweeping judgments about their personhood, we have crossed the line into judgmentalism.
Open. Healthy judgment recognizes the unresolved problems with our own viewpoints. We can be open to new information that may change our opinion, but at the same time act on the information we now have. By contrast, judgmentalism refuses to recognize any problems or limitations with its own viewpoint. Changing an opinion, even in the face of new information or insight, is nearly impossible.
Time. Making a healthy judgment involves a calm, sober insistence on looking at all the evidence before reaching a conclusion. Judgmentalism as a mentality, however, is based on reactionary protest to something. It is emotional reasoning, which allows clear thinking no room to navigate amidst our colliding feelings.
Unafraid. Healthy judgments are not driven by fear. Judgmentalism, on the other hand, is driven by fear of carefully examining evidence and thinking analytically. Judgmentalism thinks in terms of black and white. It’s too frightening to admit that there may be several angles to consider.
It’s so easy to slip into judgmentalism. I’m grateful to Terry Cooper for laying out these distinctions, so I can think about my own interactions with those around me.
Concern. Whereas healthy judgment involves concern for others, judgmentalism often has no concern whatsoever for the people it is condemning.
Trust. Healthy judgment refuses to distrust another’s motives without solid evidence for doing so. Judgmentalism, on the other hand, claims to be able to read people’s minds.
Tolerant. Judgmentalism often clings so tenaciously to rigid religious and moral concepts that it ends up disrespecting anyone who thinks differently. Healthy judgment may indeed think that the ideas of someone are off-base, limited or even dangerous, but it extends tolerance to the person beneath the ideas.
Behavior vs. people. Bashing a behavior is a judgment. Bashing a person is being judgmental. We must make healthy judgments concerning behaviors every day. When we start in on the person behind the behaviors, making sweeping judgments about their personhood, we have crossed the line into judgmentalism.
Open. Healthy judgment recognizes the unresolved problems with our own viewpoints. We can be open to new information that may change our opinion, but at the same time act on the information we now have. By contrast, judgmentalism refuses to recognize any problems or limitations with its own viewpoint. Changing an opinion, even in the face of new information or insight, is nearly impossible.
Time. Making a healthy judgment involves a calm, sober insistence on looking at all the evidence before reaching a conclusion. Judgmentalism as a mentality, however, is based on reactionary protest to something. It is emotional reasoning, which allows clear thinking no room to navigate amidst our colliding feelings.
Unafraid. Healthy judgments are not driven by fear. Judgmentalism, on the other hand, is driven by fear of carefully examining evidence and thinking analytically. Judgmentalism thinks in terms of black and white. It’s too frightening to admit that there may be several angles to consider.
It’s so easy to slip into judgmentalism. I’m grateful to Terry Cooper for laying out these distinctions, so I can think about my own interactions with those around me.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Judgments vs. Judgmentalism
I just finished the book, Making Judgments Without Being Judgmental by Terry D. Cooper. I’m not going to do a typical review of this book, as it’s not exactly a page-turner, but it does have some great info in it that I will be sharing in the next few blogs.
Have you ever been accused of being judgmental and found yourself wondering if you were? Weren’t you just trying to help? Have you caught yourself in the act of a quick assessment of someone based on very little information? On the other hand, have you been incensed when someone “put you in a box”?
The Bible says,”Judge not lest you be judged,” (Matt. 7:1) but it also says, “It’s time for judgment to begin with the family of God” (I Pet. 4:17) and “whoever turns a sinner from the error or his ways will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” (James 5:20) There can be no saving from error unless we first make a judgment that an error has been committed.
Cooper begins to unknot our confusion on this issue with first pointing out that there is a difference between making judgments and being judgmental. “Many of us confuse the difference between making judgments and being judgmental. Yet the two mental processes are not at all the same. It is perfectly appropriate to negatively evaluate actions and behavior that bring hurt, damage or pain to another person. In fact, to not react to such a behavior is to have a numbed sense of conscience. A world without judgments would be a world without conviction, principles and ethical concerns…Yet this focus on behaviors must be kept separate from a denouncement of entire people.”
Ah, the light begins to dawn.
Next time: the seven distinctions, according to Cooper, between making judgments and being judgmental.
Have you ever been accused of being judgmental and found yourself wondering if you were? Weren’t you just trying to help? Have you caught yourself in the act of a quick assessment of someone based on very little information? On the other hand, have you been incensed when someone “put you in a box”?
The Bible says,”Judge not lest you be judged,” (Matt. 7:1) but it also says, “It’s time for judgment to begin with the family of God” (I Pet. 4:17) and “whoever turns a sinner from the error or his ways will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” (James 5:20) There can be no saving from error unless we first make a judgment that an error has been committed.
Cooper begins to unknot our confusion on this issue with first pointing out that there is a difference between making judgments and being judgmental. “Many of us confuse the difference between making judgments and being judgmental. Yet the two mental processes are not at all the same. It is perfectly appropriate to negatively evaluate actions and behavior that bring hurt, damage or pain to another person. In fact, to not react to such a behavior is to have a numbed sense of conscience. A world without judgments would be a world without conviction, principles and ethical concerns…Yet this focus on behaviors must be kept separate from a denouncement of entire people.”
Ah, the light begins to dawn.
Next time: the seven distinctions, according to Cooper, between making judgments and being judgmental.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
What's Your Life Equation?
Judas.
Betrayer.
Whatever else his life was, that is the label he finished with.
If that was the final answer of his life, what were the factors of his life’s equation that added up to that end? And what should that equation consist of to end up as a follower of Jesus, instead of His betrayer?
I’d like to submit this as the Followers Equation:
knowing Jesus + listening to Jesus + worshiping Jesus + obeying Jesus= follower of Jesus.
So what do we know about Judas?
• He was one of the twelve apostles
• He was present for all of Jesus’ teaching—the parables, confronting the Pharisees, and how He would die
• He was present for all of Jesus’ miracles—healing, casting out demons, feeding the multitudes
• He was among those sent out by Jesus and given authority over evil Spirits
• He was in the boat when Jesus calmed the storm
• He was in the boat when Jesus came strolling along on the waves
There is no doubt that Judas knew Jesus was no ordinary man, and we also know he listened to His teaching. He literally walked with God. He heard it all. He saw it all. And yet, we can tell that his knowledge wasn’t very deep, and his listening didn’t bring him understanding, because it didn’t lead to worship.
When the woman poured the expensive perfume on Jesus’ feet, Judas didn’t think Jesus was worth all that fuss. He thought the perfume should be sold and the money given to the poor. John tells us that the real reason was because Judas was the keeper of the money and often helped himself, which shows his lack of obedience as well. But was greed the primary motive to betray Jesus to His death?
Judas probably shared some of the attitudes of the other apostles:
• James and John wanted to sit at Jesus’ left and right in His Kingdom
• The disciples argued about who was the greatest among them, and on one occasion, they asked Jesus who was greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Don’t you think they expected Jesus to name some names—their names?)
• Peter vehemently opposed Jesus when He talked of His death. “Never Lord,” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”
None of the apostles were exactly on the same page as Jesus. They were all expecting an earthly kingdom with Jesus as the head and all of them on slightly smaller thrones. But there was one difference between the eleven and Judas. Judas was an unreformed thief.
If a thief doesn’t get what he wants in life, he takes it.
Jesus wasn’t giving Judas what he wanted—position, power, money—BUT Judas was convinced that Jesus could. Forget all that talk about dying and serving…he just had to set Jesus up—force His hand.
It may have sounded very “right” to him, as Satan’s lies often do. I think he never expected the outcome. I think He never expected Jesus to let Himself be arrested. He took a gamble, and he lost. He would forever be known as the betrayer of the Son of God.
Maybe we are not as different from Judas as we’d like to think.
It’s possible to hang around church and churchy people and never really change—never really take ourselves off the throne in our mind.
It’s possible to know the Bible backwards and forwards and even experience miracles and use that to elevate ourselves.
It’s possible to say we’re following God, while we are really following our own agenda.
It’s even possible to convince ourselves that we are following God even though we’ve never asked Him what He wants us to do, where He wants us to live, or who He wants us to serve.
I’ve been thinking about my life’s equation. I need to think daily about my “final answer” and evaluate my motives and actions in light of the factors of the Followers Equation.
Because there are really only two possible outcomes: follower or betrayer.
Betrayer.
Whatever else his life was, that is the label he finished with.
If that was the final answer of his life, what were the factors of his life’s equation that added up to that end? And what should that equation consist of to end up as a follower of Jesus, instead of His betrayer?
I’d like to submit this as the Followers Equation:
knowing Jesus + listening to Jesus + worshiping Jesus + obeying Jesus= follower of Jesus.
So what do we know about Judas?
• He was one of the twelve apostles
• He was present for all of Jesus’ teaching—the parables, confronting the Pharisees, and how He would die
• He was present for all of Jesus’ miracles—healing, casting out demons, feeding the multitudes
• He was among those sent out by Jesus and given authority over evil Spirits
• He was in the boat when Jesus calmed the storm
• He was in the boat when Jesus came strolling along on the waves
There is no doubt that Judas knew Jesus was no ordinary man, and we also know he listened to His teaching. He literally walked with God. He heard it all. He saw it all. And yet, we can tell that his knowledge wasn’t very deep, and his listening didn’t bring him understanding, because it didn’t lead to worship.
When the woman poured the expensive perfume on Jesus’ feet, Judas didn’t think Jesus was worth all that fuss. He thought the perfume should be sold and the money given to the poor. John tells us that the real reason was because Judas was the keeper of the money and often helped himself, which shows his lack of obedience as well. But was greed the primary motive to betray Jesus to His death?
Judas probably shared some of the attitudes of the other apostles:
• James and John wanted to sit at Jesus’ left and right in His Kingdom
• The disciples argued about who was the greatest among them, and on one occasion, they asked Jesus who was greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Don’t you think they expected Jesus to name some names—their names?)
• Peter vehemently opposed Jesus when He talked of His death. “Never Lord,” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”
None of the apostles were exactly on the same page as Jesus. They were all expecting an earthly kingdom with Jesus as the head and all of them on slightly smaller thrones. But there was one difference between the eleven and Judas. Judas was an unreformed thief.
If a thief doesn’t get what he wants in life, he takes it.
Jesus wasn’t giving Judas what he wanted—position, power, money—BUT Judas was convinced that Jesus could. Forget all that talk about dying and serving…he just had to set Jesus up—force His hand.
It may have sounded very “right” to him, as Satan’s lies often do. I think he never expected the outcome. I think He never expected Jesus to let Himself be arrested. He took a gamble, and he lost. He would forever be known as the betrayer of the Son of God.
Maybe we are not as different from Judas as we’d like to think.
It’s possible to hang around church and churchy people and never really change—never really take ourselves off the throne in our mind.
It’s possible to know the Bible backwards and forwards and even experience miracles and use that to elevate ourselves.
It’s possible to say we’re following God, while we are really following our own agenda.
It’s even possible to convince ourselves that we are following God even though we’ve never asked Him what He wants us to do, where He wants us to live, or who He wants us to serve.
I’ve been thinking about my life’s equation. I need to think daily about my “final answer” and evaluate my motives and actions in light of the factors of the Followers Equation.
Because there are really only two possible outcomes: follower or betrayer.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge
“I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I’ve ever met feels it—something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone.”
Stasi Eldredge, together with her husband, John have tackled a theme of extreme importance—what it means to be a woman.
The Eldredges acknowledge that there have been many books written on women’s roles, but they believe in all these books, something has been missed—the heart of a woman. They believe “that every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty.”
The Eldredges take us back to the beginning—back to the first woman—to see what God’s original plan was for women, the crown of creation. “Eve was created because things were not right without her.” Romance, adventure, and beauty would be diminished without her.
God’s creation of woman reveals His own heart, contends Eldredge. Woman’s vast desire and capacity for intimate relationships tells us of God’s vast desire and capacity for intimate relationships. Woman’s desire for beauty tells us of God’s desire for beauty. No wonder He finds her captivating—He has put the longings of His heart into hers.
This is not an easy thing for many women who have been downtrodden and abused to believe. The wounds of troubled human relationships cloud our ideas of a relationship with God. Stasi Eldredge knows this first-hand, and takes the readers through her own wounds and disappointments to a place of understanding, healing, and joy.
The subtitle of Captivating is Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul, and the Eldredges have a clear mission statement for their book: “Not to learn one more set of standards you fail to meet. Not toward a new set of rules to live by and things you ought to do. Something far, far better—a journey of the heart. A journey toward the restoration and release of the woman you always longed to be. This book is not about what you ought to do or who you ought to be. It’s about discovering who you already are, as a woman….The woman God had in mind when he made Eve…and made you. Glorious, powerful, and captivating.”
Wounded or not, all women need to understand the Father’s great love for her as a woman. This is just the book to help you do that.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Authority in Prayer by Dutch Sheets
Have you wondered how to reconcile God’s sovereignty with prayer? Why pray if God has everything all lined out and His mind never changes? Why did God tell us to ask for anything—why not just praise Him and say “God’s will be done”? What do we do with all those bold and powerful statements concerning prayer in the Bible?
This book is the best book I have ever read on the topic of prayer.
Pastor Dutch Sheets looks at the authority given to Adam in the beginning, how that authority was usurped by Satan and won back by Jesus. He then explains how Jesus gave that authority back to His Church.
Sheets, who is very much into Greek word studies (a man after my own heart!), explains that God’s plan for us is to “pray with true authority, knowing that Christ our Head wants to release His kingdom rule through us. The Father’s original plan is now reinstated—He is governing the earth through His kids.”
How often have you heard in church circles, “God has a plan”? Dutch Sheets emphasizes that WE are God’s plan—that God is “waiting for the church to be the church.” He says we must “grow in our boldness and skill, learning to partner with the Spirit to operate in and impact this realm.”
Written with humor, intelligence, insight and a lot of personal experience, this is a book I’m probably going to buy whenever I see it, just so I can give it away. This book can re-energize your prayer life and help you truly believe that “the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)
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